Fiction Opening – Trash Universe

The Sinzaat lighter glided through the upper layers of the nebula. Starlight reflected from the semitransparent shields surrounding the lower observation platform of the ship. Without the dimmers the ship’s First Commander, Divine Formaton Vrugo Kailos, would have been blind. His large eyes moved slowly in his stony face, belying the fear he felt at being this close to the Center of Salas Liu. The Formaton’s real-body was the epitome of a Gorsedd, six powerful legs and four long arms, a stone centipede three meters in length and three in height. His volcanic hide glinted where it was exposed to view protective bubbles within his white uniform. He slithered across the viewer, turning his back on the greater lights of the nebula’s depths. Kailos glanced back at the nebula for a moment to hide his forked tongue flicking out and running its twin rows of attached teeth along his rough lower lip.
Kailos felt lucky that the other psychics in his crew were all suppressed at the moment. He was the only one with operable powers at the moment, and only because his soul sensing was necessary to guide the ship from the beacon. He raised his head as he turned back to the other officers on the bridge with him. His crew came from every species in Sinzaat Hierarchy. There were Gorsedd like him, as well as humans, so common in all hierarchies due to their fast-breeding. A single Mrayri, Second Commander Sirac, shifted languidly on all fours. His bristling mane of optical fibers was hooked up to multiple sensors and computers to compensate for his suppressed powers.
Kailos cleared his throat and retracted the teeth in his tongue to ease the human crewmembers’ understanding of his speech. “It is time I told you why we are here. Salas Liu is weakened by the offensives of MAE-19 and the rebel elements opposing their hierarchy. Our mission is to determine if the time has come to engage and seize the Central Hub.”
* * *

The questions I’m considering are along the following lines:
-Would a reader say this was too much information too fast? How about too much description?

Advertisements

One thought on “Fiction Opening – Trash Universe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s