Everything Old Must Become New Again

Listening to an old two-part episode of the Roundtable Podcast on a long break. Some of the lines from this set really resonated with me. First of all, writing well is about passion and persistence, not talent.

The important revelation I felt in that sentiment was that it is not only hard work. Hard work is vital. But Passion, drive to do, is the source of hard work.

I’m leaving this note here because I don’t want to forget it myself.

Vitality, creative power, the ability to act comes from within and from that which excites the mind.

I’ve let that go for years before I started the book I’m working on now. My career between my fourth novel and my sixth novel took a nose dive in the passion department. Fear stops me, but what am I afraid of? I’m not really afraid of feedback I get from others, except that if its bad it prompts me to beat up on myself. I am afraid of my own mad temperament. And that has stifled my creative output for too long.

Even now, with people paying me to write fiction, I can write off success by focusing on how bad I feel about my own mistakes. Some of my books are not revisable because of my embarrassment at even looking at the page. But where did that embarrassment come from except from within?

I write fiction. Writing fiction is more than my job, though it is that now. Writing fiction is my obsession. And my nemesis, the one that antagonizes my quest to do this thing that I sometimes love and always obsess over, is my negativity. The earlier post today was about attitude. Well, so is this one.

My attitude has punished me for action. My movement toward the things I want is stifled by punishment. I know I don’t react well to the stick (And the carrot is useless to me, by the way) but I have grown to fear work because I’ve used the stick too much on myself. If anyone else had tried to beat me down this way I would have fought tooth and nail.

I thought mental punishment could help me once. Perhaps it can, if I don’t overuse it. But its time to give up this lash. And its time to embrace the energy I hope will be freed with my manumission.

Open your leaves toward light. And keeping oneself in darkness will not help you grow as a person is like a plant. That’s my second slice for today. Stay energized, folks!

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