What comes after anger aside from pain? The way I see it there is wickedness, and hopefully after that, remorse.
I don’t want to speak for others, but when I’ve been angry I’ve done lots of stupid things, ranging from outbursts of violence to the more recent style of simply ranting and working myself up further.
It goes without saying that these actions are not helpful. Perhaps thats why obsessing over them only seems to make things worse.
In medicine tests are intended to prove the cause of symptoms. From there, doctors formulate a treatment. I think its been difficult for me to judge the problems I suffered from, because I get wrapped up in symptoms for a long time.
“My writing is slowing down.”
“I can’t relax.”
“I do X thing even though it makes me unhappy.”
But the answer I see is not in the symptoms. Its in the cause. I wrote yesterday about how I suffer from anger, misplaced, useless, impotent rage. But today I plan to focus on the treatment. The treatment I don’t yet understand in any kind of substantial way.
Yesterday I read a book called the War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It’s a self-help book for creatives and has a spiritual core to it. Reading a book, even one this short, in a single day, is unusual for me, but it was hard to put down. Pressfield hit on a lot of the issues I suffer from as forms of what he calls Resistance. The way he writes it seems he considers creativity to be opposed by some kind of devilish force. Most of his advice is helpful regardless, but its interesting how practical tips originated from a cause I’m not sure I believe in the same way.
But it the advice works…
I’m engaged in multiple projects. I’m struggling with all of them. I need to cut this Gordian Knot, let it fall, and pass the barrier it once placed in my path. My mind even feels knotted sometimes. But its time to give up on evil. It’s always time to give up on evil, whatever that means to you. I won’t claim some universal knowledge of morality.
I would put forth the guess that the crime hurts the criminal as much as the impending punishment ever could.
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Thought for the day: Fate versus free will is a battle that we can never know occurs or not.
Animal of the day: The Elk
Because the world is full of perils, even for the powerful.
Album of the Day: Periphery II by Periphery
So yeah, self-titled. Ahem. This is a fairly heavy math-y metal album, similar to Protest the Hero. I enjoy this style of music, but its one of the few I find inappropriate sometimes. Periphery isn’t quite as dark as Protest the Hero, but I don’t like them quite as much. Still, heavy rock with weird and varied vocals is quite up my alley.