Passage Home

Today I go back to Minnesota.

As usual this presents a bit of guilt at not spending more time with my grandparents. But its also a relief to get back to business as usual. So I get conflicted about it, but either way I’ll soon be home.

Nothing to cry about.

There’s work to be done. And I have my local friends to meet up with again. Even the Internet connection is faster back at home.

Maybe that’s why I feel guilty. I don’t like staying here for long. And its exhausting emotionally to visit.

Every time I come here its a similar cycle of excitement followed by exhaustion and thoughtfulness followed by my return home to work. I don’t know why, but frequently I feel as though the trip to Pennsylvania is a regulated mountain-top experience. Here I feel isolated. Here I contemplate the future and the past. Here things slow down so only one thing gets done each day.

I don’t know if I would change any of that now. But its tough to say the trip wouldn’t be more enjoyable in a customary sense if I had, for example, fast internet here.

Tomorrow starts my compression of posts until I get work caught up. Tomorrow I’ll be hammering on keys more than I have in a long time. The let down after the mountain-top is that life is still as it always was. Perhaps a greater wisdom would be that one can keep seeking for purity and truth without a mountain to stand on.

* * *

Thought for the day: Waking up before the sun can be an enlightening experience.

Album of the day: Theater is Evil by Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra
I backed this album on kickstarter some time ago. It’s pretty wonderful such music can get produced because the artist and fans want it, and some corporation isn’t controlling all the art we get to see these days. Besides that, Amanda Palmer wasn’t on my radar much until I heard about her marriage to Neil Gaiman… because I live under a rock except for fantasy authors I guess. After that I backed her tour with Neil on Kickstarter for a huge dollar to get the recordings of that. I enjoyed those enough to back Theater is Evil. Quite apart from how and why this album came to be, I enjoy this as an alternative to my usual metal sounds. Of course, songs like Trout Heart Replica are just as metal as anything, but without the heavy riffs. The tour album surprised me with how much I liked it, and Theater is Evil did the same thing again.


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