How?

I am back at work today. Yes, despite the holiday for you United States folks. I have enough days off in my recent past, so here’s to another few days of freelance work on this rough draft. But that’s not what I’m here to discuss today.

Rather, I’m looking to the future, and what I plan to do with my newfound hourly rate once I’m done with this freelance work. My own fiction is beckoning. I still have my Pillar Universe novel to finish, and a novella and two novels to revise through edits. For now, 2000 words an hour is great, but I need to do more hours in the day to really up the rate. Two hours a day of actual writing is hard enough as it is prior to doing a large amount of mental calisthenics and achieving great stamina.

Writing is fun, but even when I’m doing something fun I have difficulty doing anything. Even playing Bioshock Infinite for more than an hour is tough. In the case of videogames playing for an hour is probably more appropriate, but when writing I need to turn off the the insecurity that builds up as I go.

So I guess I am talking about writing today. Oh well. Maybe I’m actually talking about ADHD, because that could be what’s making me uneasy at staying focused on things. And by ADHD I do not mean self-diagnosed hyperactivity, because I in fact have been diagnosed with this particular disorder for well over ten years. Self-diagnosis is dangerous. Self-medication is more dangerous.

End disclaimer.

I used to have an easy time focusing on fiction, but I rarely had a long period of time to work back then, because I was in school. That could be another reason I have difficulty binge-writing the way I want. The few times I have successfully written for more than an hour or two in a row have been very satisfying, but they’re difficult to achieve either by mood or by attitude.

Stamina, however, is probably the wrong way of looking at it. Attitude could be more productive, if I can find the right adjustment to make that will ensure a writing binge.

Or, and please someone speak up and comment if you see this, perhaps the idea that I need to search for a technique is part of the problem. I suspect this is the case, because I have been looking for a ‘how’ for months, and it never proved overly helpful in getting me to focus and also provided a distraction from writing.

Well, I think I’ve mused enough. If any of you have any ideas, let me know. Regardless, have a good memorial day. Thanks to the troops and all the others who make sacrifices for freedom.

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