Crunch 2: Fearlessness

I hit the jackpot with my work today. Knocked out a ton, a TON, of stuff not related to writing. My wordcount however is still less than impressive for the day.

Time to get my butt back in this book.

I bring you this update, possibly in lieu of a post tomorrow morning, though I’ll definitely get back here at some point tomorrow. See, I have a lot more work to do, some tonight and some more tomorrow.

This is what it feels like to be struggling to become as productive as I would like to achieve.

I’m excited, and instead of talking to a personal friend tonight, I decided to talk to you, the internet readers, for a little while. You see, I’m not a very strong thinker unless I write things out or say them out loud.

I used to be better at this (I think), but as I’ve become an adult I either realized how slow I really was or I got slower.

Either way, I need to write things down to make them concrete these days. I’m about to enter into a major set of climactic scenes as I near the end of this short novel (possibly a very long novella). My love for the story felt far off for a while, but now it is increasing once more. Perhaps the regular ebb has subsided and now things are flowing again, or perhaps I really have found some additional inspiration for the project.

Either way I am on my way to the conclusion of this first story, this first volume of fiction.

I’m pleased to chat like this. I know I need to relax more when I write. The longer I stay relaxed, the more I write.

This month I will have to access the power granted by thinking aloud, the power of fearlessness.

Fearlessness. Not just courage.

Courage is persevering in spite of fear. That is useful in writing because humans are fearful creatures.

However, fearlessness, is a different quality. Fearlessness is like the Christian notion of divine love, unfettered by jealousness or expectation. Fearlessness is the empty mind, the mind that does not even understand what fear is in itself. I’m not sure how much of that is in each of us, but I know I once approached writing with great fearlessness, back in my first novel, my second, my third.

None of those books were very good, but I don’t think fear is what has helped me improve since that time. Contrarily, I think fear is a killer of creativity.

Fear says, “Why take this chance?”

But what the mind in fear does not understand is that a creative moment is not a chance to take, pass or fail. A creative endeavor is one that you take, or you let pass and waste. Creative endeavors do not, in spiritual sense, cost anything.

Fear says, “Don’t risk your life.”

I say, if you don’t use your life, it will simply evaporate anyway. Act when you are moved to act. Don’t let fear tell you to be still when that is not what you want to be inside.

This rant could go on and on. With the beautiful music I am listening to at the moment in my ears, I doubt I would mind. That said, I think its time for me to write some fiction.

I will talk to all of you tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

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