Fear

I think we all deal with fear in some form or other, and with good reason. The world is a strange and uncertain place, and the more we know it seems the more we have to learn.

From existential dread to anxiety of rejection, all people have their moments.

Perhaps I’m not more afraid than most. As the prospect of submitting work to an agent draws closer I realize the fear of rejection is one that has defined my last few years. I refused to submit to agents because I didn’t want them to judge me or my work, foolish as that seems now. I was all too eager to hear from outside sources that traditional publishing was not the best way, and that self-pub would work better. Even those sources wouldn’t say any path would be free of judgment, however.

Yet I jumped toward that at the time. Perhaps I even felt that the work would not be as difficult if I just went direct to the readers. In one sense that is true, but in another sense I don’t want to produce inferior work even if it means getting read and making more money. Fear can lead us to do silly things and think silly thoughts.

I won’t say I’m past fear. But today I’m going to try to work as if I was free.

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