Notes on Friendship

I wrote my 10 Ideas a Day as ideas about friendship and interdependence yesterday.

Here are a few of the things I mulled over on paper.

1. Leaning on Other people for mental or emotional support is normal.

2. Being supportive to others is at least as important as being supported.

3. When people lean on each other that is a form of love and usually friendship.

4. I have to remember the people who helped me (There are many) but also the people I have helped because both of these sets of people are closer to each of us than we think.

(Points 5 through 9 got a little bit more philosophical…)

5. “Payback” for evils you do to others can return to you in a few different ways. Points 6-8 are three of these ways.

6. Karmic Payback, when you keep doing evil things because they have become habitual for you.

7. Vengeful Payback, when people you have wronged do evil things that have an effect on you.

8. Emotional Payback, when you feel guilty or bad because you have done bad things.

9. A few methods to handle this list of problems in a morally reasonable way also occurred to me.
For Karmic Payback, an answer could be to notice and correct the habits of yours that hurt others.
For Vengeful Payback, an answer to feeling bad would be to show mercy to those you have wronged and then retaliate.
For Emotional Payback, an answer is tricky because I don’t think feeling bad is helpful. However, remorse seems important, and the difference in terms as I use them is fairly fine. Guilt is when you feel bad for getting caught or punished even if only you punish yourself. Remorse is when you feel bad for being wrong and take steps to heal those you have hurt including yourself.

(The last point returned to the original inspiration for the list…)

10. In college, I personally leaned on many friends. I only remember a few who I genuinely noticed leaning on me over those four years. These days I am fairly isolated from most of my friends, but I do communicate with some of them fairly often. Considering those points as I did yesterday inspired the list which inspired this post. I have, at times, felt resentful towards at least one of the people who leaned on me at one period of my college career, and I realized how ridiculous I was to feel that way. In any case, I am happy to have grown enough since that time to be able to think the way I did yesterday.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, somewhat unusual (For me) post.

Thanks, as always, for reading. Strange how I lately I am often leaning on the support of people I rarely if ever see.

But that’s life.

Until later. I hope you are all well.

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