Reviews for both the longer works I’ve released are still trickling in. Mostly they have been positive, but who knows if they will stay that way. I will admit, they make me a little nervous.
A little? Who am I trying to kid?
The fact is, I need to learn to put up with them. For one thing, I’ve chosen to release so it is up to the people who read each book or chapter or short story to determine how effective what I wrote is for them.
For the second thing, I am tired of getting nervous or stressed about what other people think, just in general. Even if I had mostly poor reviews on these early books I would still be okay. I’m still young. I admit, I have a lot to learn.
The issue here is my decision to publish. I have been writing for over a decade. Almost half my life. I’ve been coming up with stories and worlds longer than that. The fact is, I decided I was ready to publish because I noticed some key advances. Several writers’ whose first books I think are amazing look back at those books and refer to them in negative terms compared to their later works. Here I am thinking specifically of Kameron Hurley (Gods War is her first book, and I loved it), but I bet even hyper-technical writers like Brandon Sanderson would say (Or have said) similar things.
I know I’ll get better than where I’m at today. I should hope I’ll get much better. Even a decade of experience is a drop in the bucket compared to the future if I live long enough.
Regardless, I have chosen to publish.
The work of weeks or months becomes the experience of a few hours for the reader. That itself is a tricky feature of writing fiction. For me, the story takes more time to write, so I have a completely different experience from the readers of the eventual release.
Perhaps even more important is the fact that I ALREADY know most of what I write down in a certain way, even when I discover it in the moment as I go. I get the thrill of making stuff even as I discover what happens next.
Obviously, I’m not a perfect judge of my work.
I have fiction still to write today.
Thanks for reading.