I have often been tough on myself, down on myself, angry at myself. I don’t want to do that anymore. Honesty about one’s abilities is important. Fierce negativity is not the same thing as honesty.
I have beaten myself up over deadlines, and failures to produce work fast enough, in general, not to mention the many mistakes I’ve made in my personal life. I am trying to eliminate that source of negativity.
I know today is Memorial Day, so I’m gonna keep this part brief, but my new attempt to be gentle with myself may result in some… unusual releases of fiction. Tenlyres is still going strong, but I am on the path to release a book or two unrelated to the Maker Mythos before I finish the second novel in that series. Not beating myself up. Being honest.
So, Memorial Day.
One of my grandfathers was a navigator on a bomber in World War II. He also got terribly airsick. I have concluded he and my whole family are very lucky he survived, because he would be flying over German-occupied territory to drop bombs with such airsickness he would have lie down to steady himself.
I know some of the statistics for survival rates for bomber crews in that war. I’d consider anybody who didn’t get shot down or wounded in the air to be pretty lucky. My grandfather could not do a whole lot to protect himself up there, but he navigated for the plane anyway. And the rest of the crew must have done their jobs too because they made it back home.
And over seventy years later, I’m here typing these words because I’m grateful. War is a terrible thing, but as long as wars exist there will be people who fight for their country. I’m not ‘rah rah’ about war, but I can be grateful for those who were willing to lay down their lives. This quote seems apropos at the moment.
“The military makes demands, which few if any other callings do… The whole essence of being a soldier is not to slay but to be slain. You offer yourself up to be slain, rather than setting yourself up as a slayer.”
– General Sir John Hackett